The initial shock of finding out that your life partner might die is a little crazy to deal with. I wish that I had a bunch of adjectives to better describe how I felt, but it was just crazy. After the "shock," I then believed she would beat it no problem. There was no question this was just a longer path to our perfect life together. Then to be throttled again with worse news is a little more than "crazy!"
I still do not quite understand was Metastasis Disease is, I don't know why and how it spreads like it does. Denise says, "It's just trying to live." I can understand that part, because I can see her, just trying to live! That doesn't make it easier to take it. I don't have empathy for a disease just, "trying to live." It's clearly a part of life that I didn't expect to ever have to deal with. You see the dramatic stories of survival and death on t.v. all the time, but to be in the thick of it is........CRAZY!
All I know for sure is this. We are moving to paradise, and I'm excited! I'm looking forward to living our dream together in Hilo. I'm looking forward to spending every day with Denise. I'm thankful for the time I get, whether it's 9 months or 9 years. I'm thankful for my family and her family, who have been more than great during this experience. I'm grateful for the friends that I knew I had and even more for the friends that I forgot I had. After this, I'm not sure of anything. I don't know how work fits in, I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know how I'm going to deal with that!
And that is Crazy!
