The Q

We all have many questions in our life.  Many of us are afraid to ask for many reasons.  We don't want to offend anyone, embarrass anyone, confuse anyone or let anyone down.  We were always told to question everything when we were young, so why is it so hard to ask?  My questions are all over the map.  This experience has lead me to reevaluate society as a whole and how it operates.  I won't bore you or anger you with my new views on politics, corporations, retirement, education, or religion.  I want to relive a question that Denise had last year in Sacramento.

We went to a group therapy session in Folsom, California called the "Magical Child."  I don't want to go into specifics because of the deeply private situation that we experienced with a lot of meaningful people.  It was a moment for us to look into each other and understand that we stood together even though we don't always talk about it.  It was a moment to let all emotion out, when most often we're constantly holding it in to protect the other.

The question for her that weekend was, "How do you die gracefully?"  This is not something that anyone can tell you the answer.  It's something that happens or doesn't happen.  Denise is a highly analytical person.  She loves nothing more than to dissect a situation and make 'sense' of it.  She does this very well and often describes things to me in more of a junior language with a lot of mental pictures.  I like my books that way too!  To make 'sense' of death, however,  and to die gracefully was something I wasn't too sure that even she could do successfully.

After reading her last blog, I have to say that she is one of the most graceful people I now know!  We don't discuss what each other is going to write or when, it just happens.  I'm in awe that she can verbalize what's happening.  Of course, I've know the direness of the situation and have let only a few people know exactly where she stands.  She is without a doubt living gracefully.  I don't want to say that she's dying gracefully because that would be conceding the battle.  If in fact death is coming, I'm here to say that grace is coming with.

Baby......your question has been answered by nobody other than you!  You continue to inspire me, I love you more today than I did when I married you.  I don't want to loose you, but I'm comforted by the knowledge you have given me.  I don't always get it right, but will always think of your lessons when I make decisions.  You don't need to do anything to make your life a success, but you can do anything you want to add to it.  What a drive down Bayfront tonight, huh!

Much Love,
Bri