I was reminded today that I haven't written on the blog in a long time.  In thinking about why I haven't I've realized that my mind has been a bit blank.  I've been in a patch of fog for the last few weeks and I'm not sure why.  This tends to get me in trouble from time to time, because I end up putting off certain important things like paying bills, talking to friends and family, and assuming that Denise is okay.  All of these items have not been done and the blog is part of that as well.

Let's start with Denise.  She is okay, we haven't received and bad news or anything to raise concern levels, but her cumulative effects of treatments has caught up with her and she's not 100%.  I guess that number isn't really realistic anyway, but she's not up to her usual rate.  I admit publically, that I was a little blind to this.  She's so strong on the outside I didn't see the internal pain building.  I have been trying to refocus myself over the last couple of days to make sure that I don't miss the signs anymore.  She'll be moving to radiation therapy soon and hopefully she'll be getting her next CT and MRI's done to understand where she's at.  I know that this may bring bad news as well, but I would rather know the truth than just assume things are working as expected.

It's a double edged sword to entertain all of the time.  It's been a constant flow of visitors to Hilo since we've been here.  Don't get me wrong, there is never a bad time to come.  It's not a bad thing to have friends come and we love seeing you, but I need to understand that I can't forget to give Denise our alone time too.  I can make both of these things happen, but it just takes the understanding that sometimes Denise and I might be out of sight.  We use to spend so much time just the two of us, so I need to make sure we get that time together.  It's how we've built such a strong relationship.  I never get sick of being with just her.  It's so great to want to be around her every second of the day.  I don't want to ever lose that feeling.

The house is nearing completion.  At least completion with the money that we had budgeted.  We'll be putting the kitchen and up stairs on hold, until her mom has some more money to put into the house.  The huge yard is starting to look good too.  I learned my lesson the hard way with what I call poison ivy.  Not sure what the correct name of it is, but the blisters all over me reminded me for a week that I need to cover up while I'm out there working.  If everything is getting greener for Denise after the scans, I'll start to look for work at least part time.

We're both looking forward to a long trip this June.  We can't book flights now by any means, but we're expecting to start and end a trip in SF and go to Colorado for Alyssa's wedding and come back through Tahoe for Laura and Erik's wedding.  I really hope this can happen.  Denise and I haven't been in a car that long since we drove around Lake Michigan.  We really know how to entertain each other on the open road!  Happy Holidays every one.  I'll try to write more often assuming this fog lifts a little bit.